This happens to me every year about this time.
I want to quit.
Like, really, really, even though things are going fine, for some reason I’m not happy and I wanna quit.
I’m tired. I’m bored. Restless. Whiny. I hate everything. Everything seems meaningless. I don’t care about the company incentives anymore. I don’t care about promoting. I don’t want to be a professional Pure Romance consultant when I grow up.
This is tooooo hard.
My husband tried to join me in my depression but I told him he would have to wait. It was my turn. We have an unspoken agreement that only one of us can be pessimistic at a time.
So, I’m sulking into my coffee yesterday morning and it dawns on me why I’m feeling so lost and unmotivated.
I had lost sight of my own goals.
I earned Cancun and that was really cool, but if you remember, that wasn’t the goal. That was the gravy. The goal was to earn a profit and pay off some of my stinking debt. I had forgotten about that. It had gotten lost a list of nice, but not truly motivating company provided rewards that I couldn’t talk myself into working at to achieve.
Work is a waste if you don’t really want the goal
For weeks, I haven’t been able to shake this feeling that I was wasting my life somehow. Like, do I really want to be a National Director? Is that thing alone something that I want? Would being able to say that I’m in President’s Club really enough for me?
The answer, I realized, was a simple NO.
Those are nice things. And I would love to have them. But being Pure Romance everything isn’t the goal for me. Pure Romance is the means of getting there.
Get back to what you really want
I want to pay off my debts so that my kids can start their own lives debt free. No student loans. None.
I’ll do anything for that. I’ll work hard. I’ll make sacrifices. I’ll go to parties when I’m not in the mood. Book parties when I’d rather have a day off. Cultivate my team even when my introvert self wants to hide under a rock and not deal with people anymore. I’ll stick with it all even when it sort of kinda sucks.
I’ll move heaven and earth for that. I get excited just thinking about it.
Only your own dreams will carry you through
When I think about my dreams, my personal ones. the ones that really matter, Pure Romance seems like an amazing, wonderful, empowering, meaningful FUN way to make that them happen. I can’t think of a single thing on earth I would rather do more than do what I’m doing to get to those goals.
Paid in full
Don’t get me wrong. Company incentives are great but they’re brownie points. Pats on the back toward what really matters. At the end of the day, what I’m most proud of, what makes it all seem worthwhile, is not the dollars I earned that got me to Cancun, but the dollars I paid on debts that get me closer to my real dreams.